Albums of the Decade - 50. Jens Lekman - Life Will See You Now (2017)

50. JENS LEKMAN - LIFE WILL SEE YOU NOW (2017) 

A fizzy sherbert of spring life, spring fever, spring in your step kind of album by one of the most earnest singer-songwriters out there. Spinning yarns was the thread here. It smells of sandalwood, just as per "What Is That Perfume You Wear" - Lekman was 36 when he wrote this - probably the kind of age that craving comforts kick in.

I have butterflies in my stomach as I type this and it's maybe this album that does it to me as when it came out I was in a hell of a situation in Stuttgart, Germany living in a place that was not my place - trying to make the most of a bad situation - which is what a lot of this aesthetic is about for Jens. He's come a long, long way and matured immensely since 2005 when he sang about killing the party again in "Black Cab." And that is what makes his crescendo-like career even more beautiful; rose petals in toilet times.

Albums of the Decade - 51. Mark McGuire - Living With Yourself (2010)

51. MARK MCGUIRE - LIVING WITH YOURSELF (2010)

Mark McGuire probably didn't mean in the same vein as Freddie Mercury did with living on your own and not having any time for monkey business. The way I interpret the album title is by coming to terms with oneself, one can go on a diet of asparagus more comfortably for example.

Lavendar used to be a smell I didn't like so much, but last year I bought a bar of lavendar soap by mistake from the store, having not smelled it correctly, and at first I was a bit mortified. However, after some thorough application and perseverence, I managed to get aquainted to acquire the appreciation for this nice smell - and felt fortified.

This album and the strumming of acoustic guitars in an electronic coating feels like hushed layers of zzzzzs from another dimension, especialiy the mesmeric "Brain Storm (For Erin)" which strokes your hair, holds your earlobe and whispers  "Soak me up" after drenching itself in mouthwash, lavendar soap and other parfum. Though not a household name by any means, McGuire created a lost classic here that is an enveloping, frosty beauty. I do like.

Albums of the Decade - 52. Jamie XX - In Colour (2015)

52. JAMIE XX - IN COLOUR (2015) 

Jogging has always saved me. Tranquilised the soul. The beats on this thing are primed for a good old jog as a devotion to the old school shifts weight and clacks the week into place.

The steel drum on "Obvs" is as exotic as Tropicana juice, the bassline on "Seesaw" holding down that London bass that Burial and Four Tet put forth, and, of course, both Oliver and Romy from The XX  spread their vocals throughout like Billy Butter.

This decade has had some great electronic albums from John Talabot and The Field. With Jamie XX and Leon Vynehall flying the flag for the UK, it's safe to say that we're in good hands. Bass. Nostalgia. Style. Swagger. Almost as cool as Jamie Oliver. :)

Albums of the Decade - 53. Hiss Golden Messenger - Heart Like a Levee (2016)

53. HISS GOLDEN MESSENGER - HEART LIKE A LEVEE (2016) 

Almost went to see this band at xmas in 2016 but went to Lisbon instead and dreamed of being in Leeds. I went to Hamburg to a christmas market with a disco-ball and snowdrops flying, polished off a few mugs of mulled wine and then flew to Portugal. Felt like true jetsetter, instead of a trendsetter or a bedwetter.

This album is pure Jimmy Fuller in its capacity for a beautiful blonde beard, Worked with that guy in a call-center in 2008 and this goes out as a tribute to you Jimbeam.  You shaped my love of folk. That guy and the lean-ins on dates. The lunchtime pints. The gigs. The "yeah boy" - the yak and the sulk. The No 1 ' "Who's a bellend? / You are" - then he drenches me in a pint. "I like it!"

Jimmy's with a kid now and he's beautiful. Hope he grows up supporting West Ham too. Maybe he'll end up loving Leeds - I will buy him a Leeds bib when he's 18 and tell him it's the yak and the sulk and the smile going for a glass of milk or a pint. Heart Like a Levvee is "prismatic" as Uncut magazine said - I'll lean in to that.

Albums of the Decade - 54. Fever Ray - Plunge (2017)

54. FEVER RAY - PLUNGE (2017)

There's a town in Lithuania called Plungė, which apparently has a crab-stick factory within it's amenities. Not sure Fever Ray would be into that, but when this album does get kicking, at around the third track, she does start singing about planting a walnut tree - which I take as a sexual euphemism or metaphor por favor. 

I actually saw her and her amazing band play in Vilnius in 2018 - her support act was Tami T - who works with Fever Ray on the aforementioned track "A Part Of Us" - but was warming up that night with a big-strap on Dildo that she beat as percussion. It was a mesmerising set littered with sexual euphemisms por favor.

Modern dating is often the cause for concern for both Tami T and Fever Ray - "IDK About You" - is the double flash negative stance that a lot of cautious minds take now because of Tinder and #metoo. Before there'd be takers. Now, when we do plunge into dating, we feel bored faster - so let's not jackknife maybe, and bring back not necessarily old chivalry - but ditch the apps and learn how to talk to people again.

Albums of the Decade - 55. Holy Fuck - Latin (2010)

55. HOLY FUCK - LATIN (2010) 

There's a track on this old chestnut called "Stay Lit" and it bounds along with a choppy rhythm but still retains its buoyancy. It sums up an aesthetic / concept of not swaying to the pressure of the mainstream and generally keeping true to yourself; no matter how much they are trying to dictate you. The old ravey vibe which resonated with acts like Crystal Castles and Fuck Buttons has long gone now in the modern precept - but I can feel a load of cravings for that to change ahead in the new decade from 2020, which feels weird to type that number.

As blogs and sites abound rein in Kendrick Lamar, Kanye West and Frank Ocean into the top end of the discussion, authentic albums of the decade will appear in various other places - but at the time of writing, only Gorilla VS Bear bears any semblance of what Spaghetti Blogonese is trying to achieve. Nothing against those three artists, but when you think back to Radiohead and Daft Punk - or even compare them to Killer Mike or Shabazz Palaces - there is no contest for vitality or quality, regardless of genre.

Holy Fuck, with the right amount of hype could've born the torch for electronica over the last 10 years - but the powers that be in places like pitchfork are now the taste-makers, the Kanye worshippers, the zeitgeist zippers - when you previously zigzagged away from it, now it's just one big pressed arrow - with the illusion of choice that is Spotiify. Where there were other choices amongst publications - Dusted Magazine, Stylus (now gone) and Tinymixtapes (thank fuck for this place) - that deviated from what EVERYONE was saying, now it's harder to find than a needle in a raygun.

Albums of the Decade - 56. Lambchop -Flotus (2016)

56. LAMBCHOP - FLOTUS (2016)

Lambchop's Flotus was a joie de vivre of vocodered folk. Like a reinvention, a rebirth, a calming come-uppeth though; not the kind of makeover like in a salon or on a TV show.

Kurt Wagner soothes in this outing. He's a kindred spirit who sounds crisp and fuzzy at the same time. His own autotuned vocals sound as backing vocals to which there is no real lead.

As I lay on the sofa typing this on the phone, which is rare please, as I don't want to sit at the  desk, I melt into a scuzzer of an LP, the kind that Uncut Magazine gave 5 stars back in 2016.

Those five stars alerted me to a band that truly changed genre - not direction - not style - but genre - who does that? Tell me? I can tell you: Lambchop did it in 2016, with their twelfth (!!!!!!!) LP. Boom.